A Drop Of Water In The Desert

Everything was as normal and ordinary as it should be until that night on the 15th of July, 2016. Cadets, aged between 18 and 22, suddenly found themselves in chaos. Some were lynched, some were murdered without even knowing what was going on. Although it was proved by footage and ballistic reports that they did not harm anyone, those who could survive that night were also arrested and sentenced to life imprisonment with the allegation of attempting to break the constitutional order. Despite all these injustices to which they are still subjected; they know that “justice” may sleep sometimes, but it never dies. So, they still have hope that “it” will wake up one day and they are going to have their freedom back.

Cadets from Turkish Air Force Academy

This writing is going to be about a painful life story of a group of cadets in Turkey; whose youth and lives are being stolen, who were ignored and forgotten in prison, who were declared traitor by their own people overnight. But I am not going to write about those cadets, I prefer them to write about themselves. Therefore, I will share one of those cadets’ significant letter which was written in prison on the 3rd year of their prison detention:

A cadet who was sentenced to life imprisonment trying to explain people that they do not know what is going on. (15th of July, 2016)

The Letter

I am starting my letter, each word of which is an armful of greetings…

The heat of July circulates in my blood like a dark poison. I hear my name read and with the rightful pride of being chosen, I step forward. My journey begins towards the obscurity that I will fall right in the middle of the target. Words grow in my mouth, my soul hurts. Now it feels very difficult to look backward from exactly where I am. In these days when I should be immature and flippant, I take my breath away under the troubles that I have burdened like an Atlas. We don’t even have time to cry, groan and rebel, which always causes a mist in our eyes and a sourness on our lips.

I look wildly at my compulsory mate of fate who tries to explain that we have a common disappointment. I don’t need any consolation. I just want him -if he knows- to tell me what happened. We have been steadfast attendants of the infinity station for over a thousand days. Everyone other than us is innocent and I am overwhelmed by the compliments of how special we are. I am looking for hope, a light under the grip of the fact that we are not defended, we are left alone and ignored. I’m also willing to believe the lies just for the sake of a good night’s sleep. I persistently look into the eyes of someone who has lived two lifetimes longer than me. I say “Tell me something, doesn’t matter, just tell”. When we examine the lives of good people, sages, and many other exemplary people, although I still cannot get out of the shock of being subjected to injustice, wrongdoing, and similar troubles; by looking at the disasters they have suffered; I’m trying to be distracted by saying what is happening to us. However, I have no worries about self-glorification but…

Cadets trying to wave their friends from the holes of prison vehicle while returning to prison from the court.

Words are not enough. For a prisoner; holding on to eternity is holding on to hope, no matter how dull it is.

Our eyes get moist, but that drop of tears where all our screams are hidden just stays right on the corner of our eyes. We take a sip from each of our refreshed teas. I say “go ahead”. I’ll tell you later: “We have those we left behind and loved ones. Can’t I do without them? Or do they need me?” I have millions of tough questions in my mind. I try not to ask questions that I don’t like the answers to. Living in a fantasy world is often my only option.

I; the soldier who was raised against the enemy; I, the companion of the martyrs and war veterans… When did I become the enemy of us? When did I become an enemy to myself? Who took my uniform off me? How did I become a stranger overnight to the values ​​that I was ready to sacrifice my youth, soul, and life? If I did like this, like this, would I be a loved one again? All the paths lead me to lifelong prison, like black magic. I’m in the asylum of unanswered questions.

Cadets training at the camp.

Blinded hearts do not mind my young age. Is it a shame? Is it a pity for me, for my friends? Is all that we have been exposed to fair? Who cares! Young eyes smile oldish at despair. Come on, let the iron gates, which opens and closes like a slap in the face every day, open to eternity. Do you think that our pale faces will bloom again? What life will we -who have become stateless in our own land- begin to live?

We were a little past the age of playing puss in the corner when we came here; we had just left our childish voice tones behind. Now, we’re running around the 17-step courtyard like jades.

We eagerly bring drinks and fruits to our families for the visit days. We pinch our pale cheeks so that they don’t get upset.

We also have a little interest in world literature. Our days disappear on the pages of Tolstoy, Kazantzakis, Camus, and others whose names I have not mentioned. We are troubled by being a mutant generation that is being washed from the tap of darkness. We can not explain our trouble to anyone but ourselves. Our tongues ​​were scorched, our words were sealed. We also have quiet nights in which we spell prayer as much as we know. Fortunately, there is “He”. Our only real owner.

Every day here is actually “yesterday”. A drench of empty memories which are not worth remembering. Except for the days when our families visit us, of course. There are also letters. These days suddenly become “today”. These are the days when we realize that we are human beings and that we are loved. There is also a “Tomorrow”. The day we will meet the ones that love us – we can love too if we will be able to stay the same – will be our “tomorrow”. We sleep to our “tomorrow” every day. Then we stayed silent for a while. A faint smile among our clenched teeth; we were silent.

He said: “Let me tell a little story from what I know.” Then he added: “Maybe not to today but it will be an answer to tomorrow.”

“Once upon a time, there was always one. What would disappear where there is already one? There was a very rich Arab sheik from old times. The famous Arabian horses were the indicator of this sheik’s wealth. There was a horse among these horses, which was known by the whole peninsula with its fame. Other sheiks could not know what to do out of their jealousy. One day, they came together and hired the most famous thief of the time. They gave the job of stealing the horse to this thief. The thief followed the sheik for days, and one day he saw that the sheik and his beautiful horse went out for a ride alone in the desert. At the hottest time of the day, he laid on the sheik’s crossing road and began to moan.

“Water! Water! I have been thirsty for days, please a drop of water!” As soon as the sheik saw the moaning man, he jumped off his legendary horse and put his cruet to the cracked lips of the man so that he would not die of thirst. A snaky smile appeared on the face of the man who pretended to come to life. The sheik suddenly realized that he had been trapped and he glanced at the place where he had left his horse with the speed of light. But he saw that the horse was no longer there. Sheik started to cry, but what a cry! Tears, sobbing, sighs, woes… After a while, the shameless thief got bored. “Shut up! Why do you cry that much? It’s just a horse. You have thousands more.” he said. The sheik stopped crying, looking into the eyes of the shameless thief, he said: “You don’t understand me. The theft of my horse only makes me sad. The reason I cry that much is because of the brutality you committed. I cry because you initiated such a thing that from now on, no one will believe anyone who wants A DROP OF WATER IN THE DESERT.”

Sources Used In This Writing

1. The letter which was written by a cadet in prison on the 1st of july, 2019.
2. The twitter account trying to announce injustice suffered by the cadets: @Askeriogrenci16