My Absolute Darling is a novel by Gabriel Tallent about an inspiring victim of domestic abuse, Turtle Alveston and her survival journey.
This is not your typical domestic abuse novel. While you may be unfamiliar with My Absolute Darling, this story will take you on a roller coaster of emotions. The journey of Turtle Alveston growing up is truly empowering.
A tragic domestic abuse novel
First, you should know that My Absolute Darling deals with explicit domestic violence including sexual abuse, pedophilia, and emotional abuse.
Turtle lives with her father who constantly manipulates her into thinking that he adores her. She is stuck in this toxic relationship whereby she thinks that everything her father does is completely normal. Turtle appears to have ambivalent emotions about her father whom deep down, she also fears. Her father Martin has been teaching Turtle how to use a gun since she was six. He neglects her academic life, and he constantly abuses her verbally “Are you trying to be a little bitch, kibble?. On the other hand, Martin knows how to use his words and keep Turtle trapped in his cob of lies, “. “How big you’re getting,” he says, “how strong. My absolute darling. My absolute darling.”
“The only numinous thing in a dark and profane world, and without you, nihilism.”
Martin is Turtle’s whole world. She knows nothing but him, and that’s why she thinks she’s forever stuck. However, Turtle is a strong hero who despite the complex relationship she shares with her father, was still able to break the cycle.
With the help of her teacher and a few friends, Turtle starts discovering a new world and learns new things. However, leaving is never easy. When looking from the outside, it is easy for us to say, why won’t she leave? Why is she still there? The problem is that victims of domestic abuse are not able to see the picture clearly when they’re in the relationship. Also, most domestic abuse victims can be in love or share an affectionate relationship with their abuser, which makes it harder to leave. This domestic abuse novel captures this feeling perfectly.
“You are supposed to come to the door and believe that hell awaits just on the other side, believe that this house is full of nightmares; every personal demon you have, every worst fear.
Martin makes Turtle live on the edge of fear. Although she is still a child, he nourishes her with ideas that are beyond her age. Gradually, Turtle starts acknowledging the brutality of this relationship, but running away is not easy. “She loves this moment, and loving it, she is ashamed, because she loves him, too.” Letting go is hard when there is a huge attachment.
“She needs to get up and go home. She knows it, but she just doesn’t go”
As Turtle starts realizing the true horror of her relationship with Martin, it isn’t easy going back home. She no longer sees from the same lens, and things finally start to get in perspective. Turtle starts seeing Martin as the monster he is. She understands that her father abused and raped her, and she must find a way to leave.
“She thinks, you will trust in your discipline and your courage and you will never leave them and never abandon them
and you will be stronger, grim and courageous and hard, and you will never sit as he sits, looking at your life as he looks at it, you will be
strong and pure and cold for the rest of your goddamn life and these are lessons that you will never forget.”
That is when Turtle starts gaining courage and maturing. What she went through is not easy, and this is a huge step towards breaking free. “So walk away, Turtle. Think about your soul, and walk away.”
There are many fruitful lessons in this story. As much as it is tragic and heartbreaking, Turtle’s transformation is inspiring. My Absolute Darling is a one of a kind domestic abuse novel that shows how victims of abuse struggle everyday. The hardest part is acknowledging the truth. Then comes the true courage and strength it takes to fight back and let go. That’s how survivors become heroes, an inspiration to all.
